my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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