Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
