Me too!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
