Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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