Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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