then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
