It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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