super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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