i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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