last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
