$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
