I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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