69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
