a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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