he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
