I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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