so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I need to calm my uterus...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
