you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
