I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
