i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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