so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
