last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
