going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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