walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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