Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
