Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
