just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
