We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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