im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh god it's open bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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