just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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