I hate all girls vehemently.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
