oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize