If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
