my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
