how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize