I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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