Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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