The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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