Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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