So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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