I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
