"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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