I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize