can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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