so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
