Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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