But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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