I want to have your abortion
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
