Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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