Whod you bang
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
