Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
