I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
