Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
