This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
