my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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