If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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