He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
