the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
