i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
