using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm at about main and main street
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
