Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
3pm strippers are depressing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize