Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
